For new material please visit my main blog, CHEESEBURGER BROWN: SCIENCE-FICTION STORY-WALLAH.


Captain Gold

I spent the day moping in the cabin while Pish explored the castle with Jeremiah, but they finally managed to coerce me to come out in time for dinner with the captain. For the first time ever I opened up our luggage and dug around through the new clothes Glory had bought for us back in Thaumas. I found a clean set of duds for Pish and myself, and a heavy metal container which Jeremiah identified as a "black hole box" used to evade the scanners.

I opened it up and was less than surprised to find it filled with row upon row of Glory's little orange sticks. "Is it a narcotic?" I asked.

"Dilly chalk," answered Jeremiah with a nod. "Highly illegal to transport."


I snapped the lid shut and decided to deal with that little problem later. I reluctantly doffed my plush blue robe and we got changed for dinner.

To arrive at the dining room we had to pass out of our rotating habitat hub and into an adjacent hub, neccesitating another embarrassing session of freefall gymnastics. Pish said I was doing much better, but I still couldn't keep up with the dog. It didn't help that the tunnel between the hubs was transparent, tempting me to distraction as I gaped at the castle spread fore and aft of us, space all around.

The dining hall for our "intimate dinner" was a vast auditorium filled with high-backed wooden chairs and mahogany tables spread with shining silverware. A chandelier lit by a thousand tiny points of light hung heavily over us, making me feel faintly uneasy. A maroon robot escorted us to our assigned seats one table over from the head table. Other maroon robots were escorting other guests, the buzz of unintelligible chatter drowning out the quiet music...

Simon of Space - a science-fiction novel by Cheeseburger Brown
Dear readers,

It's finally happened: the free version of this science-fiction novel has been taken offline in order to make room for the hard-cover printed edition from Ephemera Bound Publishing, on sale in stores and online beginning Valentine's Day, 2008.

I regret any disappointment. I kept the free version available as long as I could. Pleasure be sure to check out the new edition! See Cheeseburger Brown.com for more information and updates.

Cheeseburger Brown

P.S. You can read more of my free fiction via my weblog or in the complete story achives.


Blogger Dave decreed...

Good grief... this blog is like a DRUG! *laughing*

I just can't get enough.

I so wish I had your talent CBB.

Tue Jun 28, 07:53:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Christien Lomax decreed...

Splendid... The mere ideas you come up with (or re-digest, as you mentioned about the castles) are fantastic. A whole universe comes to light as you write more, with it's history, peoples, places, cultures and characters.

Damn you for this addiction.

I wait for the next installation, impatient as ever.

Tue Jun 28, 08:52:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous mandrill decreed...

This universe you've created never ceases to amaze me Mr. Brown. I can see that we're only scratching the surface of a world of such depth and imagination. Gush Gush Gush. I'll stop now. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that your work is amazing.

Tue Jun 28, 09:06:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

I must say that this is the best diversion from work I have ever read. First the Darth Side, now this. I am so riveted that I can't wait for the next installment. Are you accepting donations for your expenses? I'd love to contribute!

Tue Jun 28, 09:07:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Dædalux decreed...

Another wonderful episode! I'll probably keep thinking about a chef who can't taste his food all day now. How strange!

Keep 'em comming CCB

Tue Jun 28, 10:16:00 AM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

- Bender, the robot from Futurama, did the whole chef-who-can't-taste-his-own-food thing. Hence the LSD :D

- Hmm, Secret Math, eh? Now we're getting somewhere - I take it this was banned?

- I've always thought humanity was more competition-evolved than predatory per se.

- "I should very much like to chat again with someone who is not a rich corpse from Eridani or another foppish dilettante from Dzigai!"

Aghk! The irony!

Line of the day: We conquered first one globe, and then another. How did we do this, you ask? We rose up among the other animals, and we ate them.He snorted. "Then we paved cities over their graves and flew away"

Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it.

Good show.

Tue Jun 28, 11:59:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Niels decreed...

I was extremely intrigued by the underground mathematics, as featured in The Darth Side, and I'm thrilled to see them return here.
I hope they'll have a slightly larger role in this story, because they're one of the best sci-fi ideas I've ever read.

So Duncan is the best cook in the explored galaxy, and an underground hacker/con? Sweet.

Tue Jun 28, 01:15:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous peter b decreed...

The forbidden math... is that anything like Reality As Fiction, as described by Heinlein in some of his later work?

Engagingly creative, and probably addictive too; fantastic work so far.

Tue Jun 28, 01:32:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Johnny Butane decreed...

Another wonderful installment.

Tue Jun 28, 02:21:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Secret Mathematic. It reminds me of "The Desert of the Real" from Baudrillards Simulacra and Simulation. (Made popular by the Matrix). The book starts out with the analogy of a mapmaker making a map so real and so detailed it becomes reality. Quite heady stuff. Keep it coming Burgermeister!


Tue Jun 28, 02:39:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous peter b decreed...

It just occurred to me upon re-reading -- which I now do with all your posts -- that Captain Gold's dialect strikes me as distinctly Yiddish, in spite of the intergalactic literal translation.

What a nice touch.

Is anybody else wondering about this Peebles character?

Tue Jun 28, 04:01:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

A hurray for Secret Math.

"An unlucky combination of famous and lazy,"
Shouldn't that be "An unlucky combination of being famous and lazy," ?


Tue Jun 28, 04:43:00 PM EDT  
Blogger blog Portland decreed...

Another great blog CB; todays entry is one of my favorite so far.

In response to your own comment yesterday, I agree that once the word gets spread, people will be all over SOS, just like The Darth Side. I only hope this blog continues longer than the last one. My guess is that by now you've chosen to stick with this one until it becomes a full novel(la?).

Regardless, I have housed a link on my blog for you since day one, and have brought it up on the few forums I post at. I also submitted it to www.i-am-bored.com yesterday, and if they post it you will surely get A LOT of traffic from them.

Keep up the good work.

~~> Jay

Tue Jun 28, 05:07:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Phy decreed...

So let me get this straight: Simon, a man who suffers from the perfect soap-opera amnesia, has met the two greatest cooks in the galaxy (one of whom is on the run for something-or-other), a famous captain, a flatulent dog, and a mysterious assassin droid; has tussled with thugs and walked away from it; has managed to evade the law and his caretakers despite being a bear of very little brain; and now we've discovered the existence of the Secret Mathematic? I know it may be a bit silly to demand that something be up when interesting and improbable things happen to the main character in a space opera, but something is up. Were this a Pratchett story I'd be looking for the actions of Narrative Imperative (or the Jokers, who were the same thing).

Not that I mind, of course.

On another note, it's always interesting to me to see what concepts writers fixate on. Asimov had the robots, Niven the Big Giant Space Thing... Greg Bear (who pointed this habit out in one of his collections) kept returning to nanotechnology. Were I to write, I suspect I'd be all over Deep Time - but after Canticle for Leibowitz and Planet of the Apes, I'd have my work cut out for me. Cheeseburger's seems to be the Secret Mathematic, although two stories do not make a healthy data set. Hope to see it crop up again.

Tue Jun 28, 06:53:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous converted decreed...

"Traumas" in the first paragraph should be "Thaumas," should it not?

This was a great installment. I'm waiting for the day that Pish and Simon sit down in some hellhole for a meal, take one bite, look up at each, and... simultaneously barge into the kitchen, demanding to see... Duncan!

Tue Jun 28, 08:26:00 PM EDT  
Blogger J. Francis Lehman decreed...


Wed Jun 29, 02:15:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous SithSnoopy decreed...

I absolutely love the depth with which you write.
Your characters are very real to me. They have
an incredible love of fine food (thanks to Duncan),
they obviously see things from their own points
of view (i.e., being used to space travel or not
being used to it... even the dog is used to it!),
and you totally provide me with all the visual
information I need to picture the "castle", etc. :)

I've read novels where there wasn't enough
description of the environment, or where there was
way too much, to the point where you were bogged
down trying to slough through it to get back to the
actual plot. Your descriptions are absolutely
perfect! Eloquent, and neither too much nor too
little. Heh-heh, like cooking with just the right
amount of ingredients. :)

I have the feeling that you like to cook. ;)

Wow. Mars became the center of the human
Empire, I gather from this post. Totally weird.

Thank you for keeping us on the edge of our
seats! Looking forward with baited breath to
your next installment! :)

Wed Jun 29, 05:04:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Anastasia decreed...

I came across Darth late in the piece and I'm still reading Darth (Vader is a fetish fantasy of mine and I haven't even seen The Empire Strikes Back yet, probably the only person on the planet at my age not to?) and as I entered Darth I saw this and I love it, your style, everything.

btw thanks for the blogroll.

Wed Jun 29, 08:15:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

Man, I'm checking this thing several times a day now; this can't be healthy.

Converted, I love that thought.

Mars... war... center of the terrible empire. How fitting, yet odd that a planet with no way of sustaining life should be the base of such power. Is there more to that story?

The Pegasus character was a stroke of genius -- the perfect touch of mankind identifying the foreign in terms of what we know. Is he your own creation, or did you draw on something else (aside from the obvious)?

Wed Jun 29, 11:32:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

The Pegasi character reminds me of a Guild Navigator from Dune... so many SCI-FI links, truly exciting.


Wed Jun 29, 09:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Sash decreed...

"Jeremiah took Pish back our cabin but Fartles and I elected to accompany the friendly old captain back to his rooms..."

Should that be: Jeremiah took Pish back to our cabin ?

Another wonderful way for me to avoid boredom at work. Thanks!

Thu Jun 30, 10:59:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Where's my next hit??!! It's been day's since you're last post CB!!!

I'm going mad wihtout your updates....

Fri Jul 01, 08:48:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear all,

I am hosting a small international festival in my backyard at the moment.


SoS will return as soon as I can chase out the last of the honoured guests. I'll try for a Monday post, but it may well slip to Tuesday depending on how things play out over the next few days.

Sometimes life gets in the way.



Fri Jul 01, 09:53:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Lilaena decreed...

I'm secretly glad you haven't posted more yet, because I just panicked that I might have missed some new episodes.

Although, now that I've read this one, I'm all ready for you to post again. So, feel free to. ;o)

Sat Jul 02, 09:51:00 PM EDT  
Blogger 'Thought & Humor' decreed...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose. A
time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

'Thought & Humor' by Howdy
Cyber-Humor, Cyber-Thought
Cyber-Riddles for your divertissement!!!

Sat Jul 02, 10:47:00 PM EDT  
Blogger frightlever decreed...

CBB, is this story blocked out in large detail in your head like or do you not know where it will go when you sit at the clicketyclick?

I find the pace remarkable considering how many fine ideas are crammed in so.

Sun Jul 03, 05:25:00 PM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

I see I've been linked. Haha.

World domination proceeds apace.

Sun Jul 03, 11:40:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

Well, I'm kinda getting the impression that Simon did not lose his memory as they say he did...I believe something more sinister is afoot. He's the victim of some sort of conspiracy, and the people who had him don't want him to find out who he really is. And whatever else is going on, food is going to play a large role in the development of the story....

Tue Jul 05, 04:24:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous lurker4hire decreed...

My guess: Simon is the villain who has forgotten that he's the villain

Tue Jul 05, 04:42:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Right... just like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall.

Tue Jul 05, 05:28:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

Oooo...that would be cool. A futuristic version of inmate reform. Wipe the slate clean, create a new identity for the person, convince them that this is who they've always been, and - presto! - a new model citizen.

Tue Jul 05, 11:41:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Lilaena decreed...


I'm ready for my new post now. I've been good, I promise.


Wed Jul 06, 12:47:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Getting antsy. Need Simon fix.

Wed Jul 06, 11:15:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear all,

I'm on it. You have only a few hours more to wait.

If you're bored in the meanwhile, you might enjoy reading about what I've been up to this past week:


Anyway, I've got a hot cuppa tea and within half an hour my family will be going on a boat ride, in order to give me some peace to write. SIMON OF SPACE resumes!



Wed Jul 06, 11:18:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous delirium of disorder decreed...

to continue ... as a matter of fact CBB I wonder if you haven't made many autobio refs in this installment? covering topics discussed and other snippets as a nod to your weekend companions, including conversations about the comet intercept - coincidence?

I also think ol' CBB is too smart and knows his audience too well to just hand us another interpretation of Total Recall. That being said, the repressed memory line is hardly limited to Ahnold.

Wed Jul 06, 04:43:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

small detail but I know you want any grammatical errors pointed out:

Jeremiah took Pish back TO our cabin...

this is obviously late but I got a late start on the blog.

Mon Aug 15, 12:40:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

small detail but I know you want any grammatical errors pointed out:

Jeremiah took Pish back TO our cabin...

this is obviously late but I got a late start on the blog.

Mon Aug 15, 12:40:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

sorry for another late grammar correction:

"Is this not a grand castle?" I asked as HE handed....

Mon Aug 15, 12:41:00 AM EDT  

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