For new material please visit my main blog, CHEESEBURGER BROWN: SCIENCE-FICTION STORY-WALLAH.


Lions & Tigers & Bears

Not for the first time, I felt the fool.

This time, however, it was not my fault: I was dressed as an elephant. I peered through the almond-shaped eye-holes of my masque into the mirror, appreciating how Jia's application of grey paint helped to blend my skin with the stylized visage of the long-nosed, wide-eared beast. The lower half of my face was exposed, and she was tickling my chin by painting it grey.

I looked over at Pish, who also seemed nonplussed. He was rubbing the white paint off his lips with a sneer, steadfastly refusing to catch a glimpse in the mirror of himself as a mouse. His whiskers twitched fretfully.

I couldn't help but smile when I looked at Jeremiah, though. After breaking up a terse argument between Jia and Pish we had decided that Jeremiah would indeed accompany us to be the ball, on condition that he wear a costume like everybody else. Jeremiah had not commented on this, but I knew he was not enjoying standing attired as he was, disguised as a reading lamp.

Simon of Space - a science-fiction novel by Cheeseburger Brown
Dear readers,

It's finally happened: the free version of this science-fiction novel has been taken offline in order to make room for the hard-cover printed edition from Ephemera Bound Publishing, on sale in stores and online beginning Valentine's Day, 2008.

I regret any disappointment. I kept the free version available as long as I could. Pleasure be sure to check out the new edition! See Cheeseburger Brown.com for more information and updates.

Cheeseburger Brown

P.S. You can read more of my free fiction via my weblog or in the complete story achives.


Anonymous Christien Lomax (The Cat Whisperer) decreed...

*stunned silence*

Thu Jul 28, 12:04:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Chris decreed...

Um... ???

Thu Jul 28, 12:05:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Pneuma decreed...

Wholy Crap!

Thu Jul 28, 12:07:00 PM EDT  
Blogger sleeperg decreed...


Thu Jul 28, 12:09:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Daddy decreed...


Thu Jul 28, 12:15:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dave decreed...

W O W!!!

Two typo's I think I caught:
"We descended into the scum"
scum should be scrum
"The old jumped", something's missing.

Excellent as usual CBB!!!!

Thu Jul 28, 12:16:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Wil decreed...

ok you need to post again. Today. Hurry. Please?

Thu Jul 28, 12:17:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

This is so damn good - I can hardly wait for the next installment.

Thu Jul 28, 12:36:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

"Do you know what this is?" he asked me.
"Suspense," he said.

You have that right, CBB.

Thu Jul 28, 12:39:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

I think I have to read that again. I am at this point beyond words.
And that in it's self is a rare thing.
As i sit and wonder...
the only thing that comes to mind is....

WHAT ?????


Thu Jul 28, 12:47:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY !!!

Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY !!!

And we're off to see the Wizard the wonderful Wizard of OZ

Maybe Simon should click his heals "there's no place like home... There's no place like home..."


Thu Jul 28, 12:53:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous scott decreed...

Holy Cow Batman!!!!!

What a twist in the story, must have more :)

Thu Jul 28, 01:12:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Now THAT'S a plot twist.

I didn't totally understand all that though. I get that Nestor is fictional creation of Blighton (according to Blighton).

So is Simon just some Shmoe who happens to look like Blighton's creation? If so, did the hospital staff just assume that he really was Nestor because of the unlikely appearance? If Nestor is a fictional creation, then that must make Jia and Omar actors?

I'm so confused.

Thu Jul 28, 01:14:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Here's what i've got: the Secret math, this guy, this march peebles galactic santa claus, tapped into the secret math, except he found it's literary branch. accidentally warped the universe to his viewpoint by providing too much description.
two theories on jeremiah:
Duncan Menteith/Terron Volmash did not actualize the nightmare cannon, PROPERTY OF Terron Volmash did...namely Jeremiah, who we already know is a killing machine, he also recorded the signal it sent out. either that or:
jeremiah IS the nightmare cannon and has an advanced AI whose sole purpose is keeping his contents safe. or perhaps it's pish...jeremiah must care for pish, and as simon takes good care of the boy but knows too much, jeremiah's primary programming overrides his secondary, and pish must stay safe over protecting the identity of the cannon. and pish is the cannon.
interesting thought; this new character, march peebles, he wants the world to see how simon thinks. what if he recorded it and sent it out to everyone? hmm
perhaps i'm simply too good at this


Thu Jul 28, 01:14:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Jia and Omar both said that Simon (as Nestor) was always travelling, so they never saw him that often.

Maybe they would be just as surprised to find out that Nestor was simply a persona.

Thu Jul 28, 01:29:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Drkdstryer decreed...

Holy coitus.

Incredible, CBB. Simply amazing. I won't even try to say more than that, because next to your writing, what would mere adjectives be?

I wait in gleeful anticipation for the next installment.

Thu Jul 28, 01:32:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...

Er ... but surely Jia would know him well enough ... if she has a child by him. Anxious to see Simon confront Jia.

I'm going to have to go back and read this chapter again tonight, without any distractions.

Come to think, maybe I'll have to reread the whole thing this weekend!

Thu Jul 28, 01:36:00 PM EDT  
Blogger WWWGeek decreed...

Uh... Er... No way... !!!

Thu Jul 28, 02:18:00 PM EDT  
Blogger indrax decreed...


I mean that both in the sense of 'amazing' and 'How could we have ever fallen for that supid hyperspatial amnesia story?'

Everything you know is wrong.

Good work, In a little over a paragraph, you've doubled the length of your story.

Of course, can we believe Blighton? He is a story-teller, and story-tellers are noted for their ability to decieve.

Keep lying to me.

Thu Jul 28, 02:33:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

"I don't know what I feel anyone," I grunted savagely, draining my glass.

Should that be "I don't know what I feel anymore" ?

Thu Jul 28, 02:39:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Prior to this installment, it was becoming clear that Simon's memory loss was not due to a Gate accident--his Gate to Maja didn't match his "birth" memories, and nobody else is 10's of thousands of years of Gating had lost their memory. This left two possibilities: (1) Simon's memories were wiped out by something else, or (2) those memories never existed. Blighton's revelation is consistent with #2. It also is consistent with very few people having actually met Simon, and those that had only a few times.

What if Simon and Jia hadn't spent any significant time together before? That would explain why Jia hadn't seen him show affection for their children. In fact, Jia identifies herself as the mother of his children, not his closest friend or true love. Also, she didn't want to discuss how they first met. The children may have even been conceived using artificial insemination. Now, Jia is genuinely happy to spend time with her husband, and would like that to continue. As she said, she likes Simon more that Nestor--he's there. Of course she's not going to reveal to Simon that their relationship was very different before. There need not be any sinister motive on her part, just human emotion.

Assuming that Blighton's tale is true and Simon just sprang into existance, how did that happen? I think the key elements here are Simon's lack of memory and skills, and the existence of his bits. If Simon came into existance through being described in exquisite detail (the "secret math" hypothesis), then certain memories or skills should have been created with him. For example, his business or language skills must have been described in detail at some point in the past, so he should have been born with those skills. Instead, he was born with an ability to learn quickly, but no skills in place. This suggests a mundane rather than a "secret math" origin. Also, Simon had his bits with him at the hospital. Presumably, Blighton already had a set of bits for his Fell persona. Did the old bits get transported to the new Simon after he arrived at the hospital? If "secret math" generated Simon, did the bits spontaneously appear, too? What happened to the old bits in that case? If Simon was created in a lab, it would have to have been by someone with access to either Blighton's set of Fell bits, or to the workings of the banking system.

Anyway, it was quite a revealing and perplexing instalment. Looking forward to the next one.

Thu Jul 28, 02:41:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Sylver decreed...

So confused. Need more input - soon! :)

I'm not quite sure what this latest chapter means for Simon. Is he a fraud? Is he a robot? A clone? A figment of everyones imagination?

Can't wait for next post!

Thu Jul 28, 02:46:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Christien Lomax (The Cat Whisperer) decreed...

Just a note about Jia:

It is perfectly feasible that if Simon were created by Peebles, then perhapse Jia was as well.. Peebles simply may have wrote that Nestor had a wife he rarely saw.

Why she has all her memroies and he does not? who knows.

Or mabe Jia is an actor. Something just doesn't seem right. Sure CBB will clear it up (eventually ;))

Regardless, it was a fantastic chapter. Hence my first comment.. (I got first post with it!!)

Thu Jul 28, 02:49:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

Ho. Ly. Crap.

Never would have expected that. I think that xanga pirate guy's got the right idea with the secret math... OR Señor Peebles is pulling a fast one. Then again, if the Secret Mathematic somehow brought the fictitious Mr. Fell into reality, wouldn't he know who he is?

Can't wait to see Jia's reaction, if she's even there (maybe they tried to take off with Pish by now).

That whole exchange with Yatti and Jia and his reaction to Pish... very curious.

And now for some editing, although I feel almost ridiculous posting it at a time like this:

...how Jia's application of grey paint help to blend...

Should be "helped", I think

...his shade pushed askew by the antlers of brown-snouted man...

(probably needs an extra "a")

neurones = neurons?

"I showed you that in order to cause you feel"

probably "to feel"?

Frickin' unbelievable. In a way I want the next episode NOW, but I also want to savor this craziness for a while.

Thu Jul 28, 03:07:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Phy decreed...

Oh my.

Nice plot switchback. I didn't see that coming at all.

Regarding the incident with Brighton/Peebles:
1. Total Perspective Vortex. I zone out every time I look into the Hubble Deep Field, and that's just a fraction of what Simon caught.
2. Simon's a rare individual. Now he's met his creator, while he's still alive. Or rather, he met the creator of the man everyone thinks he, Simon, is; Simon himself is much his own product.

Thu Jul 28, 03:09:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

No No No

Simon is real he has to be!!!!

I don't like this very much.

i am very disapointed in the way things are going for him.
(well not in the story it's self but in i feel so bad for him sort-a-way)

could you imagine everything that you thought was real turns out not
to be poor poor Simon :(

Beware Pish Beware!!!!!


Thu Jul 28, 03:19:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Mike decreed...

Simply fabulous! I cannot express how I eagerly await each new entry.

Thu Jul 28, 03:30:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous delirium of disorder decreed...

Coitus! Coitus! Coitus! C-o-i-t-u-s!

CBB, perhaps you need my moniker. I suspect you must be getting some enjoyment out of the chaos you have wrought on our feeble theories with this latest revelation you master puppeteer you – or shall I call you Blighton.

Fell is “fake” yet there are an awful lot of people who A) know his visage, 2) claim to have meet him before and C)

Blighton very well could have been Fell in disguise even down to the fathering of some children.

But you see, if Blighton were telling the truth – whole truth - how much story would be left? Or is this just the beginning of a Galactic Superhero?

I will note Blighton’s fascination with creation. But if Simon’s existence as well as his identity are the creation of Blighton through an extension of Secret Math for the expressed purpose of observation, why revel himself in this manner?

Very artful master CBB/Blighton. You should have written the final installment of the Matrix. Would you mind submitting a re-write?

Thu Jul 28, 03:31:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

First thoughts were, "WoW." and then "Whoa" ...stunned silence, as the first commentor said.

Then the chapter spins around in my head for hours...suddenly a flash!

Shades of Roger Thornhill/George Kaplan!!

You rock, CBB! Absolutely on pins and needles for the next chapter!

Thu Jul 28, 03:45:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous ScottieVegas decreed...

CBB. PLEASE don't be hit by a bus. Drive carefuly. Wear your seatbelt. Go get a Physical from the Doc and have him give us the A-OK on your health.
If something happens to you, we'll be stuck with a Story to Tell and No Mother Goose to tell it.
Wow, what a change. I am greatly intrigued as everyone else at what's going to happen next.

Thanks as always,


Thu Jul 28, 04:07:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Phssthpok decreed...

Hearing her talk about it made my kidneys tickle

Aww that line made my kidneys tickle.

Thu Jul 28, 04:33:00 PM EDT  
Blogger X decreed...

CBB - I am at a loss. Wow. What a twist.

Amazing writing.


Thu Jul 28, 04:51:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Rex Schrader decreed...

A thought -
If Yatti recognized Pish . . that might lend credence to the theory that Duncan WAS the creator of the Horror and was hired by Yatti to make it so that Fellcorp could make lots of money.

Thu Jul 28, 06:24:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Chuck decreed...


Thu Jul 28, 06:28:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Chuck decreed...


Thu Jul 28, 06:28:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Simon (of not space) decreed...

Blighton's desire made me first think that CBB wrote him, in part, to mirror what he is doing with this blog novel.

I smell something delicious in you and your adventures, Simon, I really do.

Well that's just CBB himself. Mind you, that's CBB some few years from now when he actually IS fabulously wealthy and famous and stuff from having written these sorts of works.

You go, Cheeseburger. You go hard.

Thu Jul 28, 06:40:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Mandrill decreed...


I grinned I really did. :D

Thu Jul 28, 07:07:00 PM EDT  
Blogger J. Francis Lehman decreed...


I sure hopw we don't have to wait until Monday for the next episode.

Thu Jul 28, 07:12:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Oh my!

Thu Jul 28, 10:04:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

I held her closer. That love is my anchor of certainty in this world, and I cherished it.

Dang. That's like being a fighter pilot in Star Wars and saying "they're coming in too fast", or "there's too many of them"; you're just setting yourself up for disaster.

One of the platecases swung back to reveal an addition section of the room

(should be "additional", I think)

I Hate Moondays felt like The Truman Show; makes you wonder, eh? I know enough not to trust anyone in this story -- even Pish -- but the coming chapters will still surprise me, I'm sure.

*hovers on edge of seat*

Thu Jul 28, 11:16:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

Utopia asked Simon whether his accident made him better appreciate his daughter's disability...could she mean Faeda? Faeda is described as having almond-shaped eyes.

Thu Jul 28, 11:28:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Sash decreed...

Whaaa??? Ok, CBB, you got me. You're officially one of the few writers that surprises me. I pride myself on figuring stuff like this out before I read it....But, you tricked me. You took my expectations and said, "Puh, let's just screw with your head..."

Congratulations! I'm not only addicted to this blog, I'm extraordinarily perplexed....the wonder-ghoul strikes again.....

Thu Jul 28, 11:30:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous vlad the inhaler decreed...

"The walls were lined with hundreds of individual data plates, and odd paperboard boxes set vertically with phrases along their spines."


It's starting to sound a bit like Dave now; I'm waiting for Omar to tell THIS Mr. Fell he would have taken a bullet for him too :)

Thu Jul 28, 11:54:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Irish Wolf decreed...


Maybe more later, after I've absorbed this twist, but for now -


Thu Jul 28, 11:56:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Note to CheeseBurgerBrown:

Please post the next chapter as soon as possible. I require it to survive through the week. Simon of Space has consumed me!


Fri Jul 29, 12:34:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Sith Snoopy decreed...



BRAIN..... HURT!!!!!!!

Fri Jul 29, 01:08:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Ha! I can just imagine the fantastic smile on CBB's face when he came up with that one!


Long may it continue

Fri Jul 29, 04:05:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Drooling Fan Girl decreed...

Mr. Polar Bear could be telling him a lie.

Fri Jul 29, 10:15:00 AM EDT  
Blogger cnc decreed...

I can see CBB up there in his little Canadian home with his little Canadian kid and little Canadian wife, laughing his big Canadian butt off. Eh?

Very well done. I didn't believe what he said at first. I had to read it again. Mind blowing.

Fri Jul 29, 10:25:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Omellette decreed...


Holy Schnickeys! You had me completely fooled on this...

I knew that Yatti was ... well, was not what he appeared to be. But that Simon was a complete fiction that's suddenly come to life...


Now the question is -- who brought Simon to life? I've never bought into the Secret Math theroy, frankly. Who "built" a real Simon, and more importantly, WHY?

I feel that it must be someone that's working against Blighton, but WHY?!?!?

Damn you, man -- now I won't be able to think about anything else!

Fri Jul 29, 11:41:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous converted decreed...

[stands up and applauds]

Fri Jul 29, 12:30:00 PM EDT  
Blogger defen decreed...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Fri Jul 29, 12:32:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous converted decreed...

Just wanted to add - judging by all the typos, I can tell CBB was excited by this installment. Anyone ever notice that the more "staid" chapters have all been pre-edited by CBB? It's only the "must-post-ASAP" posts that don't get read over.

We want more typos, CBB!

Fri Jul 29, 12:32:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Niels decreed...

I'll be damned...


Fri Jul 29, 12:42:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

It's friday!!!!!!
4 and a half hours left of work.
and counting. 59,58,57,56,54,53,52,51,50,................01
4 hours and 29mins left of work .
since i am restricted to only having the web at work i am slowly dying for a new entry...
4 hours and 28mins.
i don't think i can wait till monday for it.
need a fixer



Fri Jul 29, 12:43:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

1 hour 55 mins

Fri Jul 29, 02:58:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...


Fri Jul 29, 04:52:00 PM EDT  
Blogger cnc decreed...

Sod off, at least you get to go home...Hehehe.

Fri Jul 29, 05:11:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jeff S. decreed...

Such a cool development that I almost forgot that Jeremiah had a lampshade on his head all night... LOL .. he's probably pissed.

Fri Jul 29, 06:36:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Edmund decreed...

31...hours...since...reading..this...Can't ...hold...out...much...longer...Whoa! Brain overload!

Fri Jul 29, 08:45:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Mr. Burger,

Blown mind, thanks. Great episode again. One correction from me:

You could want for nothing, all yours days.

should be:
You could want for nothing, all your days.

Thanks again,


Fri Jul 29, 09:12:00 PM EDT  
Blogger J. Francis Lehman decreed...


Congrats on your cliffhanger. Neither old-time serial movies nor modern TV could have done it better. Good job.

Sat Jul 30, 02:45:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Sith Snoopy decreed...

Simon is the terror canon thingy... whatever it's

What do you want to bet? :)

Holy cow, it's late Friday night and still the cliff
hangs, so to speak. Sigh.


Your readers are suffering!

*** SIGH ***


Sat Jul 30, 06:18:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Lilaena decreed...

Incredible. However, I see a problem with the "Simon was created by the math" and "Simon was in truth actually born through the interspatial gate" theories, because... he had fellow travelers in the first post. He existed before this story began, because he was traveling.

Perhaps March Peebles merely set up Simon as a figurehead - some Joe-schmoe who's job was to be as absent as possible while Peebles walked around in a Simon-suit?

No, no, I can't figure it out. Can't wait to read more, I echo ScottieVegas - CBB drive safely!

Sat Jul 30, 05:38:00 PM EDT  
Blogger X decreed...


I'm leaving for two weeks, and you leave me this cliffhanger!?!

No interenet, no SoS, no nada - two weeks. We'll see if I can make it . . .

Upon return, my first few hours will be spent catching up on Simon's adventures. Screw e-mail, it can wait.

See you in a few weeks - CBB keep it up!

Sat Jul 30, 10:40:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Ewan decreed...

OK, from reading through here I just have to ask, am I the only person old enough to remember the series "Remington Steele" (1982-1987)?

Though I do like the twist on how the figurehead becomes more than an icon :-)

Mon Aug 01, 08:17:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Heh... like Pierce Brosnan's characters, I seem to have a penchant for pairing plot devices with appropriate films...

Mon Aug 01, 12:30:00 PM EDT  
Blogger WWWGeek decreed...

Need more input!!!

Mon Aug 01, 02:15:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...


After a little withdraw I was able to pull myself together and make it to work.
Although, there is no new post :(

Mon Aug 01, 02:22:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Every time a person visits this site...does that register somewhere?

Then this site ought to be gathering hits like an xwing in an asteroid field!

I have returned 6 times today, holding my breath for a new chapter! IT'S KILLING ME...the SUSPENSE...AAARRRGGHH

Mon Aug 01, 04:20:00 PM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

Blighton's people-suits = cute reference to the fat lady disguise from Total Recall.

I have to agree with TRH (Xanga), Secret Literature is definitely involved.

Of course, if I am right, the Observer principle has undoubtedly made me wrong again.

Tue Aug 02, 03:18:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Eddie decreed...

This absolutely blows me away.

The Secret Math.

Hyperspatial amnesia only happens in movies.

"I think he shat himself"


I have no idea what to say. You are just awesome. You have the potential here to become one of the science fiction greats.

There, I guess that's all I had to say. I need to continue reading now.

Tue Aug 30, 10:55:00 PM EDT  

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