For new material please visit my main blog, CHEESEBURGER BROWN: SCIENCE-FICTION STORY-WALLAH.


Revelations, Redux

Annapurna! I have never seen its like.

We are still four days from port and the world remains small to the naked eye, but two nice kids I met in the rotating observation gallery this afternoon showed me how to key up a magnification window on my plate. Within a ring of tiny numbers the blue-purple disc leapt forward to become a great globe: bronze continents outlined by rusty seas, girdled in a torn white blanket of clouds that turned blue toward the planet's limb. The poles were frosted white tinged with yellow.

"Why does it look so blue when it's small?" I asked. "Everything is so orange."

The kids shrugged. I looked over at their white and red robot, who returned my gaze impassively. "It may be a trick of the light, sir," it contributed lamely.

Simon of Space - a science-fiction novel by Cheeseburger Brown
Dear readers,

It's finally happened: the free version of this science-fiction novel has been taken offline in order to make room for the hard-cover printed edition from Ephemera Bound Publishing, on sale in stores and online beginning Valentine's Day, 2008.

I regret any disappointment. I kept the free version available as long as I could. Please do be sure to check out the new edition! See Cheeseburger Brown.com for more information and news as the situation develops.

Cheeseburger Brown

P.S. You can read more of my free fiction via my weblog or in the complete story achives.


Blogger Ron decreed...

This is a wonderfully written story. I got sucked in on the first post, and I cannot wait for more. Bravo!

Fri Jul 08, 11:37:00 AM EDT  
Blogger hulver decreed...

Oooo. Shivers down my spine.

Hats off to you sir.

Fri Jul 08, 11:38:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...

"As long as you protect the child," he said evenly, "I cannot move against you."

My vote for most interesting (and chilling) event of the story up to the moment.

Wow! :-)

That's all I can say right now.

Fri Jul 08, 11:39:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

How I admire your dedication and commitment to writing. I am just reading and I am four posts behind!

Reader in TO

Fri Jul 08, 11:55:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Great! Danger Danger Will Robinson!


Fri Jul 08, 12:09:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous converted decreed...

I second that, Jim.
Nice one, CBB. I think the power in this installment was its brevity.

Fri Jul 08, 12:32:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

The robot! I knew it! I never thrusted robots.
Never have.
Never will.

Keep up the great work.


Fri Jul 08, 01:17:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Shivers down my spine indeed, and maybe some eye popping as well. Obviously Jeremiah isn't subject to the Robotic Laws, unless his penchant for homicide is for the benefit of human society as a whole?

Brilliant !

&$^%!in' Brilliant !

Fri Jul 08, 01:18:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Re: The Laws of Robotics

Much as I admire Asimov's famous laws, I feel they have become a bit of a cop-out science-fiction convention at this point, so widely and lazily borrowed as they are.

Which goes by way of saying: we have not yet learned *anything* of substance about the ecology of robotics in this universe. Not *yet*.



Fri Jul 08, 01:29:00 PM EDT  
Blogger cnc decreed...

Ha, see!? I told you.

Told you.

PS - Keep em rolling CBB, I've been reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide and I find myself wanting to read SOS more and more. Fantastic.

Also, I liked in the last chapter the hint of Frank Herbert with the warring Houses and what have you. Very nice touch.

Fri Jul 08, 01:32:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Never trust a robot or a bag piper.

Fri Jul 08, 02:05:00 PM EDT  
Blogger cnc decreed...

Yeah, damn pipers...oh wait.

Fri Jul 08, 02:28:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Dave decreed...

I knew it!!! *LOL* I knew he wasn't the perfect robot he appeared to be..

Excellent so far...

Fri Jul 08, 02:40:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Mr. Brown,

This is probably the most interesting way of telling a story I have ever had the privilege to read. It would be interesting to see other celebrated authors do the same. What would their work be like unfiltered and editor free?

I have been a fan since the fifth post of Vader. Keep it coming. I hope to see novel published in the future.

Fri Jul 08, 02:52:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Niels decreed...

Not that I want to brag...
But I didn't trust Jeremiah from the beginning! ^_^

Awesome writing today, CBB. Got some shivers down my spine when I read Jeremiah's 'confession'. I also had shivers when the One Ring was destroyed in the LOTR books, so thats definately a good thing.

Fri Jul 08, 03:42:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

some of you may find this interesting - among other things it covers teh notion of sending out robotic/nanotech elements to prepare the way for humans, much like our story tellers world.


Fri Jul 08, 04:46:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Scottie Vegas decreed...

CBB, another FANTASTIC entry! I'm enjoying this immensely and look forward to more. I believe we've all know for some time that Jeremiah was inherently evil, but just how evil will have to come later.
I'd think it'd be possible to lock him up or at least restrain him if needed, but I don't believe poor Simon has the years yet to exactly figure out how.
I'll be especially intrigued to see how/if Corinthia comes back. She added some wisdon to the story, but I'd expect someone 200 years old to be a bit wiser. Maybe at that point you just become like "Q" of Star Trek the Next Generation... Jaded and only in it for the fun.

Thanks for a good one!

Warm Regards,

Fri Jul 08, 05:05:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...

anonymous said:
This is probably the most interesting way of telling a story I have ever had the privilege to read. It would be interesting to see other celebrated authors do the same. What would their work be like unfiltered and editor free?

Mr. Anon,

I'm not sure most celebrated authors would have the courage to try this. Some perhaps, but at the rate CBB is writing, the quality would definitely suffer. What amazes me with CBB's work is how good it's coming off right out of the fire!

I did a word count on the last chapter, which was one of his shorter ones: it came out to 1500 words. His average chapter, I think, runs about 2000 words. An "average" novel, maybe 300 pages or so, runs about 100000 words. He's written 17 chapters in about a month. If he keeps up at this rate for another two months, he's got a novel.

I don't know how much more "story" he has to tell... but I suspect it's at least that much. If he takes this story, with a little editing and maybe a bit of rewrite... well, let's not jump the gun! He may still screw it up before the end!
(but I doubt it!)

Fri Jul 08, 06:17:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...

One other thing...
A few authors have done similar things ... a couple of years ago, Stephen King decided to write an ebook online, allowing readers to download it on a chapter-by-chapter basis; if you liked it, you were supposed to pay a dollar. I think he was doing like a chapter a month... (probably bigger chapters!) If I recall correctly, he gave up on the project after 7 chapters because not enough people were paying.

Hence my fear that CBB will bail out... and we won't even be able to demand our money back! ;-)

Fri Jul 08, 06:31:00 PM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

"As long as you protect the child," he said evenly, "I cannot move against you."

Raises an uncountable number of questions, theories too. For instance, I now believe the following:

1) Jeremiah knows who Simon really is/was.

2) Simon's amnesia was not only not an accident, it was self-inflicted.

3) Simon is/was Volmash's nemesis in the past: the Batman to his Joker, the Gandalf to his Saruman.

I look forward to being proved right. Or wrong. Either way's good.

Line of the day:
Throughout it all the black eyes of the robot remained locked on my own, a new dark understanding between us.

Oh, hell yeah.

Fri Jul 08, 06:39:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

So is it "I am your enemy" or is it "I am not your enemy"?

Good stuff


Fri Jul 08, 09:56:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

2) Simon's amnesia was not only not an accident, it was self-inflicted.

Razorsmile, what makes you think that? Just curious. CBB, another amazing chapter.


Fri Jul 08, 10:29:00 PM EDT  
Blogger J. Francis Lehman decreed...

Curiouser and curiouser...

I'll have you know, my good Cheeseburger, that I'm hopelessly addicted to this story of yours.

Excellent stuff. I hope the story is only starting to get going...

Fri Jul 08, 10:46:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Dan D. decreed...

I have enjoyed your work CBB since you first started posting the Darth blogs. Excellent work!

Is there any influence with Broken Saints? I cannot help notice a similarity between the Horror and the broadcasting of fear. In any event, I love your work. Keep up the good work!

Fri Jul 08, 11:14:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous SithSnoopy decreed...


I have no words. This was just absolutely bitchen

Please, please don't stop! And when you are done,
publish and I'll purchase the hard-copy version!

I promise! I'll even buy some copies for my friends!
They may not realize it, but they need to read this!
Absolutely HAVE to read this!!!!

Thank you thank you thank you for writing this!
I am SO addicted!

Sat Jul 09, 02:12:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear Dan D.,

I am not familiar with BROKEN SAINTS.

The direct influence for the mechanics of the Nightmare Cannon was Cordwainer Smith's classic short story, MOTHER HITTON'S LITTUL KITTONS.

Read it: http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/smith/smith1.html



Sat Jul 09, 08:38:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Drooling Fan Girl decreed...

Oh no. The butler did it.


Sat Jul 09, 12:46:00 PM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

Razorsmile sed:
2) Simon's amnesia was not only not an accident, it was self-inflicted.

Ott sed:
Razorsmile, what makes you think that? Just curious.

The way he's steadily growing sharper and sharper gives the impression that he was a really intelligent and capable fellow before the amnesia thing happened. Perhaps it was the only way to escape ... something. Perhaps, there's something going on that requires him to be free of The Horror.

Of course, 2) to a large extent, requires 3) to be true.

Sat Jul 09, 12:54:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anne Arkham decreed...


We knew you were good at writing characters. You write an awesome plot, too.

Sat Jul 09, 06:50:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Turtle decreed...

Great work so far!!! Can't wait 4 the next chapter.

"...how could it be that Duncan and Pish had been "on the run for nearly his whole life" if Pish was around nine years old and the Kamari Horror had taken place only five years ago?

"How old are you, Pish?"

"I'm ten."

"Where did you live before you lived on Samundra?"

"I've always lived on Samundra."

"On Duncan's farm?"

"Yeah. Ever since I was born. How come?"

I shook my head dismissively. "Nothing. Forget about it."

I think that either Duncan Menteith is NOT Terron Volmash, and the police got the wrong guy, or if he is, then Pish has some dark history behind him...maybe he's not really Duncan's kid and he was just brainwashed? Or maybe he is and "Duncan" brainwashed him (like Simon!) b/c he didn't want him to remember what his dad had done. Or maybe he's an AI! Like an artificially grown human or something! Or maybe he's even a robot (like Daneel Olivaw, perhaps?)! Ooh, creepy...

Sat Jul 09, 07:51:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Turtle decreed...

Oh, and my last comment wasn't even from this chapter...Oopsy.

Sat Jul 09, 07:53:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Michael McHenry decreed...

robot laws = copout? Thank you so much for agreeing!

Since there are plenty of crackpot theories going around, here's mine:

Since it is improbable that the galaxy's greatest terrorist is also the greatest cook, it is more likely that Volmash is Pish or Jeremiah.

Jeremiah could be tasked with caring for Terron/Pish until it is safe to restore him to his normal form.

Jeremiah might have given security forces Duncan's location so that Jeremiah and Pish could escape with the more easily manipulated Simon.

The sad part for those of us who wanted to see Simon reunited with his family is that he is certainly going to be reluctant to take a homicidal super robot back to hes normal family.

It makes more sense, given what people seem to think about the accident, that Simon had his memory erased before he stepped through the gate - maybe intentionally. But he does have an identity to go back to - people who are waiting for him. I wonder if those people will know him when he finally sees them.

Sat Jul 09, 10:53:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous peter b decreed...

Bravo to you for such engaging secondary characters, and such *fascinating* lead characters!

I can tell Jeremiah's going to keep us guessing for a long time. He's just *too* human, although perhaps that's more a comment on the state of robotics in this universe.

Also quite curious is the fact that he chose to reveal anything at all. Could it be that he wants to help Simon in some way, or is he really that rattled by Simon's threat to leave him behind?

Great, great stuff.

Sat Jul 09, 11:51:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous converted decreed...

Given CBB's history of introducing the more sinister side of a character after the nicer side - will we see more of Captain Gold?

Sun Jul 10, 12:33:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous BalRog decreed...

Tuesday said...
I think that either Duncan Menteith is NOT Terron Volmash, and the police got the wrong guy, or if he is, then Pish has some dark history behind him.

I think it's the former. If so, that raises some questions, "Why were the police so sure Terron Volmash was on Duncan's farm? And why at this exact moment in time?" Well, as it turns out, there was another adult male who just arrived at the farm recently...

I hope I'm wrong, but I'm afraid I'm right. On the surface, It would be easier if Duncan were Terron. It would explain his guilt and his hiding, and it would make it plausible that Jeremiah might be the Nightmare Cannon.

But somehow I don't think so. I can't fit Jeremiah into the puzzle, but I am afraid Simon fits all too well.

Sun Jul 10, 02:05:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

I wonder...can gates read genetic code? If so, I would imagine that they would refuse to transport any interplanetary criminal whose DNA sequence had been loaded in on a "do not transport" list. Might be interesting to see what happens when Simon tries to use a gate on his way back home....

Sun Jul 10, 11:05:00 PM EDT  

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