For new material please visit my main blog, CHEESEBURGER BROWN: SCIENCE-FICTION STORY-WALLAH.



I have spent the whole of the last three days with my charming and wise friend Corinthia Tag, which is why I was surprised when she did not turn up for tea in the sun-lounge as has been our private custom. I came to her cabin and my plate told me she was there. I signalled, and was admitted...

Simon of Space - a science-fiction novel by Cheeseburger Brown
Dear readers,

It's finally happened: the free version of this science-fiction novel has been taken offline in order to make room for the hard-cover printed edition from Ephemera Bound Publishing, on sale in stores and online beginning Valentine's Day, 2008.

I regret any disappointment. I kept the free version available as long as I could. Pleasure be sure to check out the new edition! See Cheeseburger Brown.com for more information and updates.

Cheeseburger Brown

P.S. You can read more of my free fiction via my weblog or in the complete story achives.


Blogger Dædalux decreed...

Fasinating. The descriptions of 'The Horror' still seem rather vague and nebulous, which I imagine is intentional. Will we ever get a more detailed explination? Or are we only supposed to envision our own worst fears? - assuming we could.

Still, I hate thinking of Duncan as a villian, and I hope we get a better view into his justifications for his crime.

Thu Jul 07, 12:44:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear Daedalux,

I am undecided how much detail to ultimately lend to the more detailed passages about the Kamari Horror to come. I have definitely have some notions, but I have yet to determine where to draw the line in terms of taste. For now suffice it to say the Horror was horrible.

Fret not: we still have much to learn about Duncan and Pish.



Thu Jul 07, 12:56:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous SithSnoopy decreed...

I'm confused. The Kamari war with Cassiopiea was
10 years ago. So the deal is that 5 years or more
into it the neighborhood sent in a fleet to deal with
it, and thus at the date of 5 years ago, the
Nightmare cannon was fired?

Hmph... regarding Monkey's death... he must have
somehow recognized that Pish was related to
Volmash. Maybe Monkey knew Volmash at some
point, or even knew him when Pish was born.

Or maybe Monkey asked the wrong questions. :P
Or found evidence inside the robot of who the
robot's owner was.

Thu Jul 07, 01:12:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous SithSnoopy decreed...

... hey, there's this funny looking robot outside
that wants me to open the door? Should I let it

Thu Jul 07, 01:13:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...


I know now who Volmash is...but to not spoil it to the other readers, I'll keep it to myself and allow you to reveal it in due time. Needless to say, you have me riveted with every post going all the way back to the start of "The Darth Side". Keep it up and maybe...maybe...prove me wrong!!!

Thu Jul 07, 01:26:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Marmar decreed...

Well, this is my first time posting, but I must say I am completely enthralled. I anxiously await every episode. I feel like I am in the early days of radio sitting around with my family listening to the adventures of Captain Something-or-other.
I have a theory. I think likely the Jeremiah is the weapon, or possibly Pish himself (the reason for the time discrepancy being Pish is an android), or the theory I am leaning to most heavily, (which is also supported by the lack of info about the Horror) is that Fartles is the weapon. Canine Flatulence as the ultimate weapon of mass destruction..

I wait impatiently for the next installment (please oh please don't make us wait another week for the next one, if Real Life things get in the way I would be pleased to personally Thump anyone you wish me to)

Thu Jul 07, 01:27:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear SithSnoopy,

Here is a rough timeline for you:

10 years ago: Kamari invades Cassiopeia.

8 y.a.: Total breakdown of negotiations.

7 y.a.: Galactic Navy is commissioned.

6 y.a.: Naval forces liberate Cassiopeia.

5 y.a.: Naval forces invade Kamari, the Nightmare Cannon is deployed. All Neighbourhood troops withdraw, and the Hyperspatial Gate is CLOSED.

4 y.a.: An incursion by elite Naval forces on a mission to recover the Nightmare Cannon is repulsed when the weapon is used against them. A squadron of assasins learns that Terron Volmash is no longer in power and transmits this information to the Navy before being killed.

3.5 y.a.: All communications are dropped. Kamari is declared a BARBARIAN SYSTEM and a schedule for auditing its cultural development is drawn up.

3 y.a.: The Citadel of the Recovery is established, a charitable NGO whose twofold mission is to lend material and spiritual comfort to the victims of the Horror, and to act as a co-ordinating hub between the various agencies charged with the task of tracking down Terron Volmash, and hopefully learning how the Nightmare Cannon might be disabled remotely.



Thu Jul 07, 01:40:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...

Heh! Another revelation, another twist in the story ... and yet another mystery for poor Simon.

I say "poor Simon", but he has enough resolve and courage to be more than just a hapless victim on whatever path fate has in store for him! Good job, Wonder Ghoul!

CBB, Just out of Curiosity, how is the effort towards increasing traffic going? If you don't mind revealing ... how many daily hits are you getting on average (how many unique visitors that is)? I have been secretly nursing a fear that you will get bored of this project and abandon us (your fans!) in the middle! ;-) I'm relieved to see you have returned to your previous rhythm!

I have a feeling that, no matter how good SoS is (and it is!), you will be hard pressed to match the popularity of Darthside. Have you thought about putting a more conspicuous link to SoS on the DarthSide website? Never hurts to blow your own horn!

Thu Jul 07, 01:43:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear Jim,

On Traffic: here are the average daily distinct pageviews by week (uniques versus non-uniques not filtered)...

Week 1: 1,551 pages/day
Week 2: 1,710 p/d
Week 3: 1,582 p/d
Week 4: 1,926 p/d
Week 5: 2,017 p/d

So, we're crawling ahead but we've yet to explode. For contrast, The Darth Side served an overall average of about 60,000 pages a day (the average being dragged down now as the blog becomes increasingly stale).



Thu Jul 07, 02:04:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous converted decreed...

I just went back and re-read "The Statue Garden At Duncan's Bliss." Look at what I found...

"While he did his work he said I could thumb through the contents of my plate safely, so I picked it up. It didn't show anything when I pointed it around the room, except when I faced Jeremiah -- for him the plate identified his model and make, his year of construction and his legally registered owner (somebody named Terron Volmash, apparently)."

I knew I had read that name before.
Hm... Sinister. Who is/was Duncan? Does he feel guilty for deploying the Nightmare Cannon, or was there something different in his past?

Oh, and I wonder who orchestrated the "coincidence" of Simon meeting Duncan right after his leaving the hospital? Hm.

I have a feeling that there's a tantalizing, important piece of information just beyond my grasp...

Will we get any more details about how Corinthia made her discovery as to Volmash' identity?

Thu Jul 07, 02:12:00 PM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

I predict that Pish is the Horror guy, hiding in a child body. Maybed de-aged, maybe downloaded transhumanist-style. Duncan would be his bodyguard and the robot is the Final Solution.

Thu Jul 07, 02:14:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Wil decreed...


Remember Monkey found some part he could not identify inside Jeremiah. I think that is the weapon.



Thu Jul 07, 02:51:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Niels decreed...

My guesses, the Horror was a concentrate of murders, mutilations, torturings, etc, which were then transmitted across the galaxy as a telepresentation. It depends; can you recieve a hologram inside your head? Because that only requires feelings (read suffering, intense pain, depression, mortal shame?) to be broadcasted -- which is more effective if you're a terrorist.

Of course, this would make the Weapon/broadcast equipment quite small -- which locks nicely into wil's theory.

Thu Jul 07, 04:05:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous mandrill decreed...

I feel personally that any speculation is ultimately pointless as the story and its teller will take us where they want us to go. What we see when we get there should be a surprise (doesn't stop us rattling the package the day before christmas though :P )

Thu Jul 07, 04:25:00 PM EDT  
Blogger cnc decreed...

My speculation...

Pish is not Volmash, neither is Duncan. I do think that Jeremiah has a larger role, but is also, not the weapon.

I think Jeremiah, knows where it is. I also think Duncan knows where it is and was assigned to protect/defend it. Once he realized that he could not (moral reasons maybe?) he fled and is on the run.

This may be a little out in left field, but what if the "cops" who came to get Duncan, were acutally agents of Volmash' who came to get him and take him back?

Just my thoughts...

Thu Jul 07, 04:45:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Phy decreed...

Simon's confusion is mine - possibly because deep down I just can't believe in the existence of a man as remarkable as Duncan has now been set up to be. I'll buy that a torturer such as Volmash could be a pleasant and honorable person if you met him up close, without the reputation. But to be simultaneously the galaxy's worst villain and the galaxy's greatest cook... well, it just doesn't quite fit. I keep looking for the loophole - after all, Simon only has this information from single, fallible sources, and a tendency to believe what is told him.

Of course, if it IS all true, that makes Duncan a rather ambitious character, in both the senses that matter.

Incidentally, "Volmash" is a great supervillain name. It's got the "vol" in it, suggesting vomiting noises and Lord Voldemort; and then there's a lovely "mash" at the end. Between that and the Nightmare Cannon, I'm wondering if Kamari had a Bad Guy College, or an Evil Medical School.

Thu Jul 07, 06:46:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Irish Wolf decreed...


Just... wow.

I understand why these last two chapters were delayed, but I'm going to pray to St. Asimov (patron saint of prolific writers) that no more interruptions pop up...


Thu Jul 07, 09:08:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Matt decreed...

Whoa, I forgot about Simon's scanning of Jeremiah. If anybody can tell that Jeremiah belongs to Terron Volmash just by running a plate over him why hasn't Simon run into a hell of a lot more problems already? Certainly when he went through security to board the castle they would have noticed.

Thu Jul 07, 10:33:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous SithSnoopy decreed...

Two things.
(1) Probably can't see that Jeremiah is owned by
Volmash anymore, as his carapiece was replaced.

(2) I have attempted to slashdot you. Let's see if
we can increase that traffic a little. :)

Ok, three things:
(3) Cheeseburger, thanks for the history lesson!

And everyone else, thank you for your various
theories! I have to admit I wonder if that extra
hole in Jeremiah isn't where the cannon's "blast"
comes out of. ;)

Thu Jul 07, 11:30:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Who thinks that Jeremiah is Terron Volmash and that Pish is the Weapon? It makes sense, right? Which is why he wants to protect him - and why he is registered as Jeremiah's owner.

Fri Jul 08, 04:16:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Dave decreed...

Wow... what a twist!

Now I'm wondering, if the robot kills people that figure out who Duncan was!

I'm waiting to see if the lady dies soon... hmmm so many possibilities!

Great work!

Fri Jul 08, 10:49:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Well, there goes my theory that Simon is Terron Volmash.

My next useless speculation - pish is the nightmare cannon


Fri Jul 08, 10:08:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

something that effects us all -> something that affects us all

Sun Nov 20, 11:55:00 AM EST  

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