For new material please visit my main blog, CHEESEBURGER BROWN: SCIENCE-FICTION STORY-WALLAH.


You Are Safe, Do Not Panic

I won't leave you in suspense: Glory found a washroom.

But she was still crossing her legs and grumbling as the Neago grew before us against the spangled velvet: a great rounded wedge of gleaming white metal with a slowly turning torus embedded in a midship cavity, like a canine tooth run through by an ivory ring. A set of blue formation lights winked on and off patiently at the extremes of the wings and nose, on which were painted the image of a human hand in red. We had just drawn close enough to discern the orange glow from the turning ring's port-holes when my telephone buzzed in my ear.

Simon of Space - a science-fiction novel by Cheeseburger Brown
Dear folks,

Alas, it has finally happened: the free version of this science-fiction novel has been taken offline in order to make room for the hard-cover printed edition from Ephemera Bound Publishing, on sale in stores and online beginning Valentine's Day, 2008.

I regret any disappointment. I kept the free version available as long as I could. Please do be sure to check out the new edition! See Cheeseburger Brown.com for more information and updates.

Cheeseburger Brown

P.S. You can read more of my free fiction via my weblog or in the complete story achives.


Blogger thatjamesguy decreed...


Keep up the great work. I truly enjoy it.

Thank you, again.

Fri Aug 05, 11:08:00 PM EDT  
Blogger J. Francis Lehman decreed...


I thought I was going to have a typo field day until I realized the spelling of the captain's speech was purposeful.

And of course I understand that you're busy with paying work, but this was one sip of air to a drowning man...I hope you get a chance to hook us up with one more episode this weekend.

Fri Aug 05, 11:40:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jeffrey decreed...

The only regret I have about learning of this story before its completion is that now I need to wait for each subsequent posting.

Fri Aug 05, 11:41:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

A nit:
"It is my great pleasure to personelly" -- I believe that should be "personally"

Fri Aug 05, 11:52:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Reetay Arvaysay decreed...

Long-time lurker, loving the yarn! Keep unwinding. Many thanks.

Sat Aug 06, 12:15:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

Wow, not even fifth post.

That's the best hijacking scene ever! I always wondered what happened to Chekov when Star Trek was canceled...

Your characters have such panache in a beautifully understated way; I find myself liking every single one of them, unless of course you've written them evil.

For some reason this episode made me really greedy for more. I'll try to be patient.

Or maybe passenger.

Sat Aug 06, 12:42:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Toasty Moe decreed...


I'm very jealous of your talent. But that doesn't prevent me from enjoying the tale.


Sat Aug 06, 02:14:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Irish Wolf decreed...

I have an odd feeling that the ship should have "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly letters across the prow... :)

Sat Aug 06, 03:51:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Sith Snoopy decreed...

Too cool. :)

Simon is my hero. :)

Well, ok, Jesus, Simon, and ironically Darth Vader, especially after the Darth Side, are my hero's. :)

[Wow. Only one of the above actually lived. And one of those fictional dudes was evil for a LONG time. Heh, maybe we'll find out Simon was evil for a long time too... and had a case of conscience, and therefore erased his identity to try to start over. Of course, that's already been discussed here. :) ]

Cheeseburger, you have out-done yourself once again. :)

Sat Aug 06, 04:02:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...


You caught "personelly" but not "hemble shep"?? lol!

Sheik ...
Surely not Chekov ... that's got John Cleese's French Guard written all over it!!

Sat Aug 06, 07:02:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Jim decreed...

I just reread the dialog with Ting trying to picture Chekov... it seems to work too, but it was alot funnier picturing John Cleese doing his outrageous French accent! ;-)

Sat Aug 06, 07:25:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Dave decreed...

Oh come on... I WANT TO SEE FAEDA! *LOL*

And I do love the hint of HHGTTG in "Don't Panic" everwhere!

Sat Aug 06, 09:03:00 AM EDT  
Blogger tee decreed...

The captain looked up. "How cen we help you, Mr. Fell sirrr?" - maybe... then i'm kinda thinking outrayjoos fraynch axsenth *slash* skootish brogue... but at first i thought chekov also... of course, kepten.

"glory is sad, not bad" - luv it!

Sat Aug 06, 10:37:00 AM EDT  
Blogger tee decreed...

and i'm going crazy trying to spell check the kepten's lines... e for a? e for ou? k for c? (having a field-day!) much thanks from the gradeschool spellingbee runner-up in me...

Sat Aug 06, 10:41:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous FasMaster decreed...

is the Captain from South Africa? or New Zealand??

Sat Aug 06, 11:44:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Aphrael decreed...

This post was good. There's been something missing since we got to Maja. Glad the humor is back :)

Sat Aug 06, 12:47:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous mandrill decreed...

Jim said:
>Surely not Chekov ... that's got John >Cleese's French Guard written all >over it!!

Nah Jim. Its the policeman from 'Allo 'allo. (For those of you not british see here.)

Sat Aug 06, 02:37:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous matt decreed...

Darn it, why can't the innocent little kid in a story be wrong for once when it comes to reading people? :P

Sat Aug 06, 06:01:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous argan0n decreed...

Ahhhw... You bring Glory back around & I'm all ready to accuse her of a huge manner of nasty things and have her banished to dark trailer full of little people on the edge of a cold moon -- then you go and give her "Ketsu's" and a soul...

You're a cruel burger Mr. Brown! :)

Next I suppose your gonaa turn Pish into an "Ender's Game" brat, uknowingly using Jerimiah to fire the Nightmare Cannon making the kid Volmash!

You toy with me... but I'll read on.

Sat Aug 06, 10:29:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Simon (of not space) decreed...

We have a mix of competing brogues here for the captain, and I immediately pictured him thrashing about, hating to be confined since he's really a PIRATE at heart! Yar!! That be the accent I's picked up on, ye scurrrrrvy dogs!

Sat Aug 06, 11:38:00 PM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

You bring Glory back around & I'm all ready to accuse her of a huge manner of nasty things and have her banished to dark trailer full of little people on the edge of a cold moon -- then you go and give her "Ketsu's" and a soul...

I still think she's evil. Perhaps the doctor is in on it. Also, notice how she never actually said exactly how she found them.

Evil, I tells ya!

Sun Aug 07, 12:17:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Lilaena decreed...

Now, *Pish* as Volmash is terrifically interesting.

Unless Jeremiah, who's registered owner is Volmash, has a conscience and didn't like what his master was doing and ran away with his son Pish, and they were subsequently taken in by Duncan who was just captured by Volmash's troops.

Unfortunately for Volmash, Simon was there and the son got away.

dun dun DUNNN. Love the episode, it was great. DON'T PANIC. lol

Sun Aug 07, 01:41:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

Reminds me of watching the first season of 24. After every episode I would turn off the TV and say "Damn, that was good. Just great TV." Then I would think about it all week until the next episode.

Only with SoS I only have to (typically) wait a few days. Thanks CBB!

Mon Aug 08, 10:43:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Rich decreed...

What a cool idea.

I've managed to read some of it and gonna keep going until i catch up.

Brilliant, it's a pleasure to read.

Wed Aug 17, 02:13:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Eddie decreed...

I just reread the whole thing twice imagining Chekov, and then John Cleese. I'm an old school trekkie AND a Monty Python fan, so I'm not sure which way I'm biased. But, the french John Clesse mental imagine was much much more awesome.

Maybe I'm biased towards comedy.

Wed Aug 31, 12:18:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous eddie decreed...

Ok, so I just read the NEXT chapter and I realized: It's not John Cleese OR Chekov. It's Scotty. 100% Scotty.

Wed Aug 31, 12:33:00 AM EDT  

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