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Kamari Forever

The office Greskin Mile shared with the Master Barrister for the Accused was divided in two by a pane of glass. The air in Greskin's partition was clear, while that in the Master Barrister's partition was hazy and faintly yellow. Beyond this there was no differentiation: on both sides of the glass were mountainous stacks of dataplates in vaguely furniture-like mounds, screens covered in dense text, and discarded disposable cups and bowls strewn about the floor.

"I know, I know," said Greskin as we walked in, "it looks like a tornado blew through here, cha."

"What's a tornado?"

Simon of Space - a science-fiction novel by Cheeseburger Brown
Dear readers,

It's finally happened: the free version of this science-fiction novel has been taken offline in order to make room for the hard-cover printed edition from Ephemera Bound Publishing, on sale in stores and online beginning Valentine's Day, 2008.

I regret any disappointment. I kept the free version available as long as I could. Pleasure be sure to check out the new edition! See Cheeseburger Brown.com for more information and updates.

Cheeseburger Brown

P.S. You can read more of my free fiction via my weblog or in the complete story achives.


Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

First comment! Wooooo!

Now it's time to read the story :)

word veri: nlisihim

Anagram for nihilism?

Sun Sep 18, 11:59:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

Ah, the Equivalency rears its head!

CBB, how many more chapters do we get to relish before it all comes to an end? (Can you tell us?)

Mon Sep 19, 12:14:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous normzone decreed...

Third place is better than nun...Second Sheik yerbouti....

Mon Sep 19, 12:17:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown decreed...

Dear Jillster,

You'll find out this week.



Mon Sep 19, 12:31:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

*gasp* And there's another chapter title already!

Oooh, this is getting even more ominous.

word veri: mcyjcwml
Futuristic McDonald's food (McYellowJellow Cow Meal)

Mon Sep 19, 12:34:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Drkdstryer decreed...


You mean it's going to end this week?


Will the book be coming out soon?

By the way, amazing way of Greskin stating the defense of Simon... it really is amazing. But the only problem is that most people have no idea that Simon is a changed person; how will he prove that?

Mon Sep 19, 01:03:00 AM EDT  
Blogger razorsmile decreed...

Short but very informative.

Equivalent Math is ... impressive. The Equivalents however appear to be assholes.

Line of the day: "Sleep like sheep so you don't yawn" - not that it's particularly fantastic in and of itself, but it speaks to the thoroughness of your worldbuilding.

Rock on.

weevee: oiswmzkg - "Oi! Swarm the Keg!" (what Cockney Zerg say right before they raid a frat party)

Mon Sep 19, 01:33:00 AM EDT  
Blogger thatjamesguy decreed...

To steal a line from John O'Hurley, "Fantastic!"

Mon Sep 19, 02:01:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Teddy decreed...

Holy camoses, dude, that rocked. THIS WEEK! aiiii!!! it can't end...when can i get dead tree copy? i want five.

by the way, i thought of this at work, everybody feel free to add to it:

You might be a SoS addict if:

*you no longer drop the "F" bomb, instead using the terms "Coitus" and "Fornicated"

*every time you see a sparrow you think "could it be...?"

*you tried to get an audience before the leader of the free world so you could ask them for a small favor (Cindy Sheehan eat your heart out)

*you wear a hospital robe in public because it feels nice

*you throw silverware at only your best friends

*you named your firstborn Simonithrat because you've always wanted a kid with that name

*you think Pfizer and Red Cross might be evil

*you tried to cash a paycheck in hours

*You take a calculus class so as to fend of Something Wicked

*you travel the world and ask people of various countries to say "Like a Bat out of Hell"

*you have ever tried to speak in Eridani Court

*you have gotten REALLY REALLY GOOD at reading vanity plates, and try to make wordveri's out of normal plates

*you make up a list like this at 145AM on a monday morning

and you are a REALLY good fan if...

*you think Darth Vader was the second best protagonist to Simon of Space

add to it, folks, let's see how long we can make this list.


word veri: gecgwdd. Geck Wood. a forest full of Gecko.

Mon Sep 19, 02:46:00 AM EDT  
Blogger ak_hepcat decreed...

"It's the people who tell you 'the truth is obvious' that you must be most afraid of -- because what makes sense to a man isn't what makes sense to the universe."

cha. Coitally true.

Mon Sep 19, 03:05:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Sith Snoopy decreed...

Ah.... got my fix. :)

Thank you! :)

Mon Sep 19, 06:48:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Dave decreed...

By far, this is the most difficult post to follow because of it's depth. I'll have to read it a couple more times to really "get" it.

Either way, it's going to take quite some time to get through this it looks like!

Sniglet: xojxef (again, I get the crummy ones)

Mon Sep 19, 07:57:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Mark decreed...

CBB, I know you are Canadian, but Duncan's comments about the truth never being simple -- many folks in the U.S. would do well to read those over and over.

Also, great opening to the biggest trial in the history of solarkind. I'm still diggin' Greskin Mile. Great character. Now let's just hear Jeremiah's secret.

word ver: qxqop
An AS/400 command.

Mon Sep 19, 09:42:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Edmund decreed...

"People's beliefs are all we have," he countered. "And while they may be individually short sighted they are cumulatively wise."

I think the prequel will be even better than the original (unlike a certain Lucas product)!

Great work, CBB. I'm sorry to hear that we're at the end of the line. Obviously one form of math is going to finish Simon off; the Secret Math because the Executives need to make an example/scapegoat of someone, or the Eq Math because they don't want a cowed TV wandering the Neighborhood. I'm guessing the former; Jeremiah didn't bat an eyelash at killing Jia. What did she do beyond slow down Jeremiah's quest for the NC?

CBB, I caught Escape from LA on the tube this weekend, and enjoyed the 'rescue of Utopia' parallel!

Mon Sep 19, 11:35:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Jeff S. decreed...

Teddy!!! LMAO ... that's funny.

Here's my attempt:

*you see a hot chick on the street and try to picture her shaved and in a plastic suit on Pegasi Secundae.

*you find yourself refreshing the SoS page to look for a new chapter despite knowing damn well there won't be one because the last one was posted only an hour earlier... yet still... you have to check.

*your nether region is artfully trimmed to the shape of a heart in honour of the fallen.


Mon Sep 19, 11:40:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous theJaff decreed...

Nice nod to Brazil in the courtroom.

Needs more table.

Mon Sep 19, 11:51:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...


We still have no idea if Jia's really dead, let alone who killed her. Besides, if J had wanted to off her, he would have done so right away (or at least when she was on the hospital stretcher so it couldn't be pinned on him).


* If you run screaming every time you step on an anthill...


Yeah, it would be nice if these hollywood types who think their popularity has given them the answer to all of life's problems would just go back to making shallow entertainment :-D

Any bets that the Fellcorp/Pfizer computer drugs are based on (a) Secret Math or (b) Equivalent Math?

Mon Sep 19, 12:08:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous scott decreed...

possible typo:

"Greskin took my arm and led me over to what turned about to be a chair after he pushed a slurry of transparent dataplates aside."

I think that is supposed to be out

Mon Sep 19, 12:38:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Pneuma decreed...

[sheik yerbouti said] Yeah, it would be nice if these hollywood types who think their popularity has given them the answer to all of life's problems would just go back to making shallow entertainment :-D

Or shallow non-entertainment: note the decline in movie theater revenue and CD sales. One thing I find funny is that the RIAA can get away with accusing p2p networks of stealing and reducing CD sales, but what’s the motion picture industry’s exuse? Oh yeah… bad movies. :-)


Mon Sep 19, 12:44:00 PM EDT  
Blogger mandrill decreed...

"People's beliefs are all we have," he countered. "And while they may be individually short sighted they are cumulatively wise."

From this statement you know the equivalent dodu is talking out of his coital rectum. Individually people are amazing. Their dreams can reach the stars and populate them with marvellous things. Collectively they watch things like Big Brother and they want to be like Jordan and Peter Andre, its the law of the lowest common denominator. If he knew anything at all about maths he would know that.

Great work as ever Mr Brown.
Long may it continue..... please?

Verifun: hzejrnx, Hazy edge ran ex. A former intimate vibrates at high frequency along a cliff? Bizzare but oddly poetic.

Mon Sep 19, 01:21:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Edmund decreed...


I'm betting that the Fellcorp innovations were Equivalent. We know that Yatti/Aro was in league with the Equivalents prior to the downfall of Kamari, so why wouldn't they stay teamed up going forward.

Early on I was convinced that the Fellcorp programs were part of an Executive plot to domesticate/subjugate humankind. It doesn't look like that's the way CBB is going now. Jeremiah has been portrayed as too much of a philosopher king.

In this episode we find that most of the Panstellar Neighborhood mobilized against Kamari to preserve the Great Melange. What if the FellCorp programs were being planted by the Equivalents so that when the number of people "programmed" got to a certain critical mass, Chung and company could trip a subroutine that started a great uprising to break the hold of the Executives and bring about the Galactic Union?

We don't KNOW that Jia is dead, but Blighton was pretty sure of himself when he said that Jeremiah had killed her...

Mon Sep 19, 02:31:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Vaniver decreed...

Phenomenal stuff, CBB.

One quibble- shouldn't "Keep your own council," be "Keep your own counsel,"?

Mon Sep 19, 03:07:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Lilaena decreed...

The Master Barrister pooted out a string of coloured clouds and the translation echoed inside our little tank: "Co-counsel, you are disrupting my information array." The tabletop jerked back.

Love this part! I feel like we're on the rollercoaster to the end now. :D

Word veri: ebavsoy

What you get when you cross an online auction site with tofu.

Mon Sep 19, 03:33:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

If Jeremiah thought he had a grip on it the executives would show us how to live.

Now I'm pretty sure that "Master Executive" is more than just a linguistic formality.

Ed: Blighton was sure of a lot of things that weren't necessarily true. I'm thinking the jury is still out on Jia.

Mon Sep 19, 06:15:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Janshi decreed...

Oooh, the Equivalency.

Jeremiah might be wise, but he could also be evil.

Mon Sep 19, 07:14:00 PM EDT  
Blogger indrax decreed...

I love Greskin's speech.

Excellent analysis sheik, I think you are right.

It seems to me that micro-gates would provide a perfectly secure communications system.

Mon Sep 19, 08:58:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Edmund decreed...


I believe that Jeremiah has been the puppetmaster all along. I also agree with you that Greskin's speech was pretty powerful stuff. If a clone isn't held liable, how can a half-clone be? I did think that the prosecution opening arguments were pretty thin gruel. I think the Yockster was pretty lame. That or I substantially underappreciate the full emotional weight of four quadrillion hours!


I hope you're right about Jia, but CBB's style suggests to me that I'm sadly right about her untimely demise. I actually think that this admission is part of Jeremiah's intended last conversation. After all, he killed Pish, who didn't commit any crime except probably getting in his way. Why not the same with Jia?

They'll probably name a new executive after her. Woo hoo.

Something tells me that "The Trial" is the end of the line for SoS. I hope not, but I am afraid we've reached the end of Page 36.

Word Veri Fun: ovxuajq - hoping that Jia comes out of this alive and that the Risa trip still happens. Expecting Simon to be killed in the next installment (see previous comment). Crossing fingers that Omar comes to the rescue with Captain Gold, Fartles, and the ghosts of Ting, Pemma, and Oliver!

Or MAYBE, Pish becomes the NEW Master Executive and everyone lives happily ever after on Page 37!!


Mon Sep 19, 11:48:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Simon (of not space) decreed...

That's like, what, 20 years from now? 30?

Midway throught the trial, Simon should pen a quick note to Greskin asking if it's permissible to go for a bathroom break. That'd be funny.

Tue Sep 20, 12:30:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

Jeremiah never claimed to have killed Pish. He only said that Pish died as a result of his actions. That could have quite a range of meaning.

For some reason, whenever CBB writes "Aro Frellis", I read "Afro". How weird is that?

My eleventh-hour predictions:

1) There are two more chapters. There has to be something after "The Trial".

2) Jeremiah's last secret will be revealed in the courtroom by the opposition, and Simon will face the ultimate test of his newfound trusting nature as the bitterness of this last revelation threatens to turn him against Jeremiah, who is still his ally and his only hope.

3) Corinthia Tag is coming back. She's going to surprise us (like everything else CBB does).

4) Jia isn't dead. If she is, and they pull a Pish with her, she'll be the first human ekSEXutive, if you know what I mean.

5) We're gonna face off against some nasty, evil Pegasi before it's all over.

Simon (NoS): I've been living in Texamerica for 15 years already! In fact, I'm going to start calling it that.

Oh, and normzone: I really think it depends on the nun, don't you?

*leans forward*

Tue Sep 20, 01:03:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

"They believe," repeated Silas significantly, his brows arched. "Do you know what I believe, Simon? I believe in civilization being free to take whatever shape its own denizens believe in."

I like this. Maybe the Equivalency isn't so bad.

Tue Sep 20, 01:13:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous decreed...

You're right. Aside from that bit about genocide being okay as long as it's for the "greater good", they're the best thing that's ever happened to the human race.

Tue Sep 20, 01:21:00 AM EDT  
Blogger indrax decreed...

I'm surprised we haven't seen corithia tag already.

5) We're gonna face off against some nasty, evil Pegasi before it's all over.

I think this would be the most awesome. The equvalents for whatever reason are massively unhappy with the results of the trial, or it's effects. They launch their war, Simon, Pish, Duncan, Glory and Jermiah deal with it. (and Greskin?)
Or maybe they find out that the executive are breeding, and get spooked.

Remember when people thought it would end on Maja? and then we found out we had known almost nothing of the plot...

We'll find out this week.

P.S. If it does end there's always my interactive sci-fi blog Xenobiology.
It has just had it's first actual dramatic moment. Go talk to the Professor, or meta-discuss the daily episodes at SOS spawnfiction

And it's not ekSEXutive, it's executie.

Tue Sep 20, 01:43:00 AM EDT  
Blogger indrax decreed...

Oh, and see if you can spot the beginnings of a CBB reference in Xenobiology.

Tue Sep 20, 01:47:00 AM EDT  
Blogger indrax decreed...

Aside from that bit about genocide being okay as long as it's for the "greater good"

The horror wasn't a genocide. I'd guess that the nine circles held, at most, a few thousand victims. Quite possibly Kamari's own citizens.

It was horrible, but I don't think we have a proper word for it besides Horror.

Tue Sep 20, 01:54:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

Even if you had destroyed a whole star, what's one among forty?

I think that qualifies as endorsing genocide.

Even if you don't agree, I really hope that the "maybe the Equivalency isn't so bad" comment was a joke that I just didn't get.

Tue Sep 20, 11:00:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Mark decreed...

shiek - I like your conjecture. I never throw out any theories myself, but yours here seem more plausible than most (unfair to compare now that you know so much of the plot, I guess). Also, I'm in Texamerica, too, but I've been here only four months. Everything is, indeed, bigger here (bills, roads, cars, sporting event crowds, people).

wordver: keylbpc
Caveman-like statement made when one gets mad at the computer. "Key pound PC!"

Tue Sep 20, 11:57:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...


No special knowledge here; I just read the story. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though (look out, Jeanne Dixon).

For what it's worth, I'm in Dallas too (and also not a Cowboys/football fan). Welcome to this part of the world. As it happens, I'm an IT worker also, although I'm about to be changing jobs; where I go is up to the highest bidder (or the only bidder, as it may be).

You found gas for $2.61 in the metroplex? Where was that? I haven't seen anything below 2.69, and with Rita heading straight for Houston (those NOLA evacuees must be freaking out right now) I'm sure it isn't about to go down further.

(back on topic now)

Indrax: "executie" has an ominous ring to it, don't you think?

Tue Sep 20, 12:51:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

I was wondering where I had heard the argument of the Equivalency before...that growth comes from chaos. It's what Zorg says to Father Cornelius when they meet in Zorg's office: "Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction, disorder, and chaos."

Tue Sep 20, 02:33:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jillster decreed...

Oops -- I should mention that this was from the movie "Fifth Element."

Tue Sep 20, 02:34:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous sheik yerbouti decreed...

Yeah, but Bilbo didn't fall for that, did he?

Good old Bilbo...

Why are we still commenting over here?

and what a weird word veri:uuuuyx
(a stuck keyboard near the end of the alphabet?)

Tue Sep 20, 02:47:00 PM EDT  
Blogger indrax decreed...

Ahh, I missed that.
It's an interesting comment too, is the equivalent math capable of destroying a star, as the secret math is? or is it really not quite equivalent?

Does something wicked have the math?

(How strange that sentence would look to anyone unfamiliar with the story.)

Tue Sep 20, 02:52:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Lilaena decreed...

You should know that the power to destroy a star is insignificant next to the power of the Executives.

Tue Sep 20, 08:56:00 PM EDT  

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